What Natives of the Gulf think of Jordan?

When I was in UAE, I met this Bahraini guy, who when tried to approach me I felt like he suffers a a crippling inferiority complex. He had this idea that we, people of the Levant, hate them very much. I honestly do not hate anybody, but I later had to treat this guy like shit, because the polite way of saying am not interested did not get to him through polite means.

Anyways, I remember him once asking me, what's with queen Rania? And I was like what's with her? He told me that she is quite active promoting Jordan. Although I have my own take-ons on the way she does it, I think I was happy hearing that. I told him that she is a young queen and she is living her role as she thinks she should, and that she is in away supporting or trying to give the underprivileged some of their rights.

His second question was, what's the story of honor crimes in Jordan? I was shocked. A guy who knows nothing about Jordan was asking me about honor crimes in here?! I gave him some sort of a diplomatic answer, because I don't know why are we the only country that is known for this type of shit. Not like it does not happen elsewhere, but why are we the stars?

The thing that bothered me the most, is that in Gulf they call the people of the Levant "zalmat" because we say "zalmeh" for man. It is a kind of a racist designation, just like a "nigga" or "baljeeki" or whatever. The funny thing, all of the natives over there say that in the Levant, only the native Jordanians or the Bedouin of Jordan are good and white hearted, while the rest and especially the Palestinians are "as mean as Jews". I have to admit though that the "Shamis" are acting odd enough over there that we can not really blame the natives. 

I think racism will never seize to exist unless one day humans have to identify themselves as humans, and humans only. That would be most likely when an alien race comes to invade us!

Nuha and Guantanamo

Nuha is the name of an English teacher who screwed the hell out of my life when I was a tenth grader. She was such a bad teacher, using antediluvian methods in teaching and the problem is that she used to think that she was a good and modern teacher.

Unfortunately, I was one of the firsts to be taught by her. She forced us once into writing an apology letter to Mr. Georg Bush. Why? Because of the 9/11 attacks. Why the heck should I write a one? Really? I was just 15 years old, and I never gave a shit about politics.

She was quit aggressive. When I refused to write that letter of apology because I do not remember being a plotter in the attacks, she turned into a frenzy of shouting and screaming. Her English classes were politics classes. But again I was, and all of the class were 15 years old!!!

I remember her once entering the class and telling us how humane prisoners were being treated in Guantanamo. That was in 2002, just after the announcement of the prison. Shows what a shallow and worthless human being she was. I never held any grudges against the people of USA, yet if I ever had, that would have been her fault.

Later I discovered that in Guantanamo they do not just humiliate humans, they humiliate arts as well. When they use music to break down the resolve of prisoners, then this is both, a humiliation for the artiest and the fans.

Nuha is not really the name, you just need to change one of the letters, and you will get the correct one. And teacher I wish you will read this one day so that you be repaid a little bit of the torture you caused me back then.

On The Last Four Months of My Life!

They sucked big time!

I have to say this, but I never knew that isolation is a killer. It was no choice for me, it was the only logical reaction to the situation. Being surrounded by that endless void of... do not know how to say this. May be endless void of people that are just as dump as hell.

Never knew that such type of people existed. Honestly! Yet, I can not say that life was fruitless. May be cultural wise it was the worst in ages, but I got a new idea, and learned a big deal about my future options.

The new idea is pursing a master degree in Chemical engineering rather than Mechanical. My first semester in the master of mechanical engineering revealed it all. The masters degree I was pursuing was in a way, something that I can do on my own, so why not to go for a different type of engineering? I can do that by myself too, but as am into research then graduate studies are almost a must. Then why not chemical engineering? Mechanical+Chemical means a better preparation for research at the molecular and meso scale+one more step toward a jump into natural sciences!

I also got to develop new passions toward some old enemies of mine, and I think that me and Ms. Mathematica are in deep love now as she is the only key toward a better chance of decent contributions in the future. Just for the sake of completeness, this was not the only reason for this new passion.

One of the most devastating experiences was the break down of my self proclaimed psychological invulnerability and depression immunity. I take full account for this failure. I thought that the dark side had lost its battle against me for good, some 5 years ago. Yet isolation was more than enough to revive that side. At the beginning I did not see that, but soon it was very obvious. The manifestations were endless, but most remarkable was the dark songs frenzy I went on.

5 years ago I decided that there were no more dark songs. No more NIN, no more creed, no more nothing of this shit. Yet the carving I had for those songs was too much to handle and at the beginning it was overwhelming. Everything got screwed up. Took some time to get things back under control. I figured out that if I am to make it out I should just live side by side with that element of darkness within, especially that accessibility to such types of madness is made much more easier now. Before, it was just tapes and cds, break them and get rid of that shit.

Now it is youtube with VIDEO CLIPS! Just as if the lyrics were not enough to drive you mad!