Grandiose Delusions & Sheep-phrenia!

In an attempt to spread awareness of two very common personal disorders in Jordan, and due to the hyper active state you are in while fasting, Aerie's productions presents: Your very valuable guide on the prohibitively dangerous conditions of grandiose delusions and Sheep-phrenia.

Grandiose Delusions:

Overview: This disorder infects at least 78% of the Jordanian population. It starts mildly, at an early age, but have very high progression rates, that some patients feel like they should retire at the age of 18 and write a book about their lives.

Symptoms: Quoting yourself more than quoting Twain, Mr./Ms. know it all is your nickname, your omnipotence is second only to God, you have dreams of people stalking you for an autograph, you wonder why they forget to mention your name in most influential people lists, Galileo was wrong; the center of the universe is you, when you first heard Stallone saying "I am the law drop your weapons" you felt humbled that you were the source of inspiration for such a great movie, you brag about the insignificant (99% of your life), you join groups such as "the most elite families of Nablus" on Facebook, you believe that the bachelor degree in political sciences you hold from an American university is the key to a better Jordan, to name only a few.

Causes: Low I.Q., low self esteem, a recessive gene that became dominant in the Jordanian population due to high rates of inbreeding among relatives, liaisons in the ego-suppressing part of the brain, head traumas at an early age, and other unknown factors that are yet to be studied.

Risk factors: Growing up with plenty of Sheep-phrenics around (see below what sheep-phrenia is). The disorder can stay inert for relatively long times but gets suddenly triggered by a lucky shallow success (the lucky bastards type of success in particular). Being a senior official, a professor, or a guard on a godforsaken gate at the university of Jordan, increases the chance of developing this disorder by at least 300%.

Treatment: The disorder is terminal, but some urge that it can be cured, one bullet at a time.

Sheep-phrenia:

Overview: "Sheep-phrenia" as you can see is made of two parts, sheep which means a sheep, and phrenia which means a state of mind. The term is used to describe a certain type of human beings who exhibit the behavioral traits of sheep to a large extent. They are fascinated by, support and believe in the superiority of the grandiose delusions patients.

Symptoms: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Causes, Risk factors and Treatment: It might surprise you to know that both disorders discussed in this post have the same causes and risk factors, which pushed some active researches in this field to postulate that these conditions are in essence the same. In an attempt to support this hypothesis, a group of prominent professors from the university of Jordan and JUST demonstrated that sheep-phrenics can suddenly develop symptoms of grandiose delusions under certain conditions, albeit temporarily, and visa verse. However, until these researchers "pile up" enough evidence for their theory to become mainstream, the common wisdom stays that the relationship between these two types of patiences is a symbiotic parasitic relationship, with the sheep-phrenics being the hosts. Treatments for Sheep-phrenia are controversial and unethical most of the time, but they left us no choice, what should we do then?

No offense people, I mean we all show some of these symptoms from time to time ;) but we should always remember that we are all human beings, if you are privileged over others then remember that with this privilege come duties, the least of which is not to look down on the underprivileged.