They sucked big time!
I have to say this, but I never knew that isolation is a killer. It was no choice for me, it was the only logical reaction to the situation. Being surrounded by that endless void of... do not know how to say this. May be endless void of people that are just as dump as hell.
Never knew that such type of people existed. Honestly! Yet, I can not say that life was fruitless. May be cultural wise it was the worst in ages, but I got a new idea, and learned a big deal about my future options.
The new idea is pursing a master degree in Chemical engineering rather than Mechanical. My first semester in the master of mechanical engineering revealed it all. The masters degree I was pursuing was in a way, something that I can do on my own, so why not to go for a different type of engineering? I can do that by myself too, but as am into research then graduate studies are almost a must. Then why not chemical engineering? Mechanical+Chemical means a better preparation for research at the molecular and meso scale+one more step toward a jump into natural sciences!
I also got to develop new passions toward some old enemies of mine, and I think that me and Ms. Mathematica are in deep love now as she is the only key toward a better chance of decent contributions in the future. Just for the sake of completeness, this was not the only reason for this new passion.
One of the most devastating experiences was the break down of my self proclaimed psychological invulnerability and depression immunity. I take full account for this failure. I thought that the dark side had lost its battle against me for good, some 5 years ago. Yet isolation was more than enough to revive that side. At the beginning I did not see that, but soon it was very obvious. The manifestations were endless, but most remarkable was the dark songs frenzy I went on.
5 years ago I decided that there were no more dark songs. No more NIN, no more creed, no more nothing of this shit. Yet the carving I had for those songs was too much to handle and at the beginning it was overwhelming. Everything got screwed up. Took some time to get things back under control. I figured out that if I am to make it out I should just live side by side with that element of darkness within, especially that accessibility to such types of madness is made much more easier now. Before, it was just tapes and cds, break them and get rid of that shit.
Now it is youtube with VIDEO CLIPS! Just as if the lyrics were not enough to drive you mad!
I have to say this, but I never knew that isolation is a killer. It was no choice for me, it was the only logical reaction to the situation. Being surrounded by that endless void of... do not know how to say this. May be endless void of people that are just as dump as hell.
Never knew that such type of people existed. Honestly! Yet, I can not say that life was fruitless. May be cultural wise it was the worst in ages, but I got a new idea, and learned a big deal about my future options.
The new idea is pursing a master degree in Chemical engineering rather than Mechanical. My first semester in the master of mechanical engineering revealed it all. The masters degree I was pursuing was in a way, something that I can do on my own, so why not to go for a different type of engineering? I can do that by myself too, but as am into research then graduate studies are almost a must. Then why not chemical engineering? Mechanical+Chemical means a better preparation for research at the molecular and meso scale+one more step toward a jump into natural sciences!
I also got to develop new passions toward some old enemies of mine, and I think that me and Ms. Mathematica are in deep love now as she is the only key toward a better chance of decent contributions in the future. Just for the sake of completeness, this was not the only reason for this new passion.
One of the most devastating experiences was the break down of my self proclaimed psychological invulnerability and depression immunity. I take full account for this failure. I thought that the dark side had lost its battle against me for good, some 5 years ago. Yet isolation was more than enough to revive that side. At the beginning I did not see that, but soon it was very obvious. The manifestations were endless, but most remarkable was the dark songs frenzy I went on.
5 years ago I decided that there were no more dark songs. No more NIN, no more creed, no more nothing of this shit. Yet the carving I had for those songs was too much to handle and at the beginning it was overwhelming. Everything got screwed up. Took some time to get things back under control. I figured out that if I am to make it out I should just live side by side with that element of darkness within, especially that accessibility to such types of madness is made much more easier now. Before, it was just tapes and cds, break them and get rid of that shit.
Now it is youtube with VIDEO CLIPS! Just as if the lyrics were not enough to drive you mad!
man u r tooo young to talk like that !! sho malak :D
ReplyDeleteelmohem something related to chemistry wohooo :D
welcome back and waiting for part 2 :)
SimSim, young?! I will be 24 in 4 months!
ReplyDeleteAnd chemistry... yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
=)
24 ?!! so what ?!! young w no9 :D
ReplyDeletewhat u will write when u become 30 ?! oskot oskot :D
Most probably it will be something good =)
ReplyDelete*One of the most devastating experiences was the break down of my claimed psychological invulnerability and depression immunity!*
ReplyDeleteSeems to be in the air nowadays as everyone it's happening to a lot of people in so many ways.
ba3dain what's wrong with 'dark' songs? they should be called realistic songs lol.
ugh scratch that extra part in the sentence lol
ReplyDeleteDee ya Dee,
ReplyDeleteMy claimed psychological immunity was broken by something I never faced before! Life in UAE screwed the hell out of me!
Dark songs are jokes compared to Nine Inch Nails songs! Trent Raznor, which is the founder of NIN, himself got screwed up by his own songs!
They are not realistic, but I believe that they are just like drugs and alcohol, they make the ugly part of ur life appealing, and when this ugly part becomes dominating then u have to do something to make u feel better and keep going on!
alla la ywa6rizlak! i hate UAE, why would anyone wana go there! balla how does burj il batee5 look like from ur place? lol. I have seen from a very close person how the emirates can bring up screwed generations who, for the lack of better words, know NOTHING.
ReplyDeleteYea well you mentioned creed so i was like :s 7aram, lol, i don't call creed dark, nine inch nails is nothing i'll comment on cause i don't lsn to them, to me these songs don't make anything appealing, but it's an acknowledgment to the type of world we live in and the lives we lead, but i guess anything's better than nancy 3ajram, plus creed are harmless!
At some point u have to try! And honestly ur words were soooo true that I was surprised! The generations raised in gulf are totally ****** up!
ReplyDeleteDarkness is not about death metal and noise! Darkness resides in the lyrics, this is why I never said Metal rock or whatever rock, I just called them dark! Under this definition some of lady gaga songs can be categorized as dark!
And yea, I hate Arabic songs in general! Meaningless and so naive and stupid!